toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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