so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
