my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She bit a glass in half.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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