nut hugger
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
