this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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