He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
