Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
