Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
