A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
A bitchslap is in order.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
