hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
