So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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