I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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