Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
