You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
