Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Randomize
