I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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