Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
