omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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