i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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