Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
The Olympian is in my bed
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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