kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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