Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
