just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
