Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
