doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
