I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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