Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Randomize
