He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
