I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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