when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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