Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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