I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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