This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
