Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Randomize
