I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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