I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
