very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Randomize
