she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
