He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
