i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
