Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
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