like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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