I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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