tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
