I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
