You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
