She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
