maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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