you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
