What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
